She loves rock..hardcore, only, no soft rock..and the word she found to describe me is also the name of a rock song – Obzen – her feeling in the middle of numbness.

For her, it meant that she had considered herself aware of her freeness but had caged herself in still, choosing to stay in this meaningless place for far too long.

And so when I came along, I could see the disillusioned hurt in her eyes. I didn’t try to save her, I used to compulsively do that…always on ‘the mend’. I think my own broken childhood made me project onto others the savior I had needed back then.

So, I didn’t try to save her. She didn’t need saving. I treated her beautifully, and somewhere along the way, she saw her own beauty.

And now she’s outgrown this place and gone away..my obzen, a reflection of the moments that make this life worthwhile.

janberry © 22Apr2019 12.49am

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