I see...patterns, and cycles which repeat themselves, are likely to continue doing so. I made a choice not to get spun around in another loop around the track. In the last year, my confidence took a swan dive, but I found a route back. It started off mildly enough. They'll lean in as if they're … Continue reading The narcissist cyclic web
"Walk on water", she said, and as I exorcise these demons of distortion, a phrase came to me, 'Discipline amidst the dysphoria equals Dissonance." A client sent me a free ticket to a Virtual Conference on Digital Technologies. She said she had a free ticket and she thought of me because of the newsletters that … Continue reading Discipline amidst the Dysphoria = Dissonance
Today I took my 3rd testosterone shot, and I've had 2 foremost thoughts leading up to today... Catfish. That's the word that came to mind when I thought about expressing the first thing... In 2017 and 2018, I spent one year each living through either end of my gender polarities. In 2017, I cleared out … Continue reading Catfish and Transition
“Are you feeling for this?” “Thunder!” She smacked her lips playfully. “Sure.” She spun around to face me, pushing me back into the bed, and grabbed onto Thunder directing him into the O-ring, with her hands over mine and looking at my eyes. Melting, I smiled at her, and she smiled back as she stood … Continue reading The Dream by JanBerry – Excerpt
I feel like the reason most people need to know whether you are a man or a woman is to know how to treat you..which biases to employ. The people that have seen me have felt me with their hearts - and used the eyes that aren’t on their face. I think from those eyes, perhaps everything looks gray, because you can always feel the tension between multiple perspectives of the same truth.
A few days ago I made a decision about my gender expression. It so happened that yesterday, I passed by the very same beach where all this brave discovery began 6 years ago. I sat and meditated for a while and then made a video. The video below is episode 2, from 6 years ago … Continue reading In between things
I am extremely grateful for the growth I’ve experienced in the last few months. It has made me more courageous and also more resilient. Best of all, I have become clearer and clearer about my intentions and desires, shaped in knowledge of self.Carnival is always a milestone for me, particularly J’ouvert. It is a time … Continue reading In my green
Love Symbol #2 He sported a falsetto and hairy chest And danced like the floor was wet Drenched in rain that slicked his mane Full body jumpers and heels Caressing his guitar like the feminine and phallic symbol his ‘name’ changed to later on She’s handsome Or he’s beautiful Things are supposed to work a certain … Continue reading Love Symbol #2