Sunly

I must give up the pride of showing you what you’ve missed out. I show up everyday just to show you in every way, this is what you’ve said no to. You turned aside and didn’t see how lovely, my bright blues could haunt you. If you’d only have looked at me for just one minute longer the stain of my spell would have still been splotches in your view. Embracing me would have meant embracing you. Still…I must set aside the pride of waiting for your gaze because it neither dims my brilliance nor adds to the days..because I show up, always. I must learn to come here without your permission.

janberry © 13jan2019. 7.04am

Social? Media

A few days ago I closed all my social media – Facebook and then Instagram and lastly Twitter.

I found two things to be true for me:

Social media had become an extension of my pride..my ego..a need to control the narrative surrounding who I am…thereby making me feel good, feel proud.

I could succeed at social media but still fail at social interaction, and social interaction is something that I will always need to apply extra effort to. I’ve seen time and time again how social media and social interaction are not the same.

Growing up the way I did, it’s imperative that I get better at social interaction. It’s way too easy for me to revert to my comfort zone…being alone with a book or a paper and pen..and just not talk for weeks, months, years..

I came off social media so I could focus on actually increasing my social skills. That might be the height of irony.

Photo by Artem Beliaikin from Pexels.